On Divorce

Listening to the radio this morning I heard some of a discussion on divorce. Although the lady speaking was very articulate and understandable, there was nothing Christian mentioned. Although she spoke about rebirth … it was in the context of the rebirth of a relationship. She spoke about being an entity and, when marrying you become a new entity and when children arrive there is another new entity … and should you divorce there is another new entity.

In a way, it sounds quite plausible, but it’s not Biblical. She also spoke about divorce coaches who assist people towards the most amicable settlement because like it or not, especially if there are children involved, you will remain in each other’s lives until you die. As you will be aware, unless it’s a Christian Radio Station (and even then there are limitations as to what you may say), you cannot mention religion, especially Christianity. You can’t refer to the Bible as the yardstick for life and marriage and parenting. In other words, a Christian is limited as to what they may say on air because within democracy, you cannot speak against another religion and you cannot say, “God says this in the Bible” or “The Bible is God’s Word.” I can never forget the manager of a certain “Christian” Radio Station getting his staff to say after my commentary on a news slot: “That is the view of Don Kirkwood, not the view of this radio station.” Yet what I said was literally verbatim from the Bible.

Words and terms do matter. Where she spoke of entity, the Bible speaks of family. When a man marries–and this is true for the woman as well–the Bible says:

Ge 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

His father, mother and he as son are a family. This family may include other siblings. Then God provides this son with a lady who becomes his wife. He (and she) leaves his (and her) parents’ home (family) and starts a new family with his wife and the offspring God provides for them. The new husband and the new wife and the children they have form one family.

I recall a Christian Sexologist teaching us to use proper names for the various parts of the body. He illustrated it by saying a couple came to him for help. They used slang words to describe body parts. He showed them a diagram hanging on the wall of the male and female anatomy. He said to them: “Tell me your story but look at these diagrams and as you speak refer to the body parts with its correct name.” By the time the story was completed, their problems no longer existed. My point is, it is not an entity … it is a family. Noah was told to take his family into the Ark … not his entity or entities.

God hates divorce. Although Moses permitted a man to write a divorce note … Jesus put the matter into Biblical context:

Mt 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

And never forget what God says in Malachi:

Mal 2:13 Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’S altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Children always suffer. It might be suitable for a man or a woman to get out of an unhappy marriage, but like it or not, the children are the ones who always suffer. Perhaps a husband and a wife ought to stop and think … “We made our bed and it’s messy, but destroying the bed will cause the children to start their adult and marriage lives with a bent … a bent towards an easy exit … a bent towards divorce!

Who wins when a couple divorces? Yes there is a winner … just one winner and that winner is the lawyer! Whichever way the divorce goes … however much the couple and their children suffer, the lawyer gets paid. For him its only business. For the couple and their children, it’s ruin.

Although most people don’t want it, Jesus is the soul solution and He is the only one who is able to change hearts, save souls and restore a broken marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, Jesus is Your only solution.

Dear God, thank You for healthy Christian marriages and families. Lord … there are so many marriages that are broken. Some of these husbands and wives are Your children. Please intervene … please minister to them by Your Spirit. Cause them to think deep, pray hard and respond Biblically. Restore marriages, O Lord. Amen.

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